Vol 11, #299 24 October 1999
The Mauritius Hash Trash
A very good turn out... Lots of visitors from all over the world...
Hong Kong, China, Korea, UK,
Holland, Germany... Bon Voyage all the Boat people...
The next Hash is the "300th run"...!! Geeeze...!! have
we done that many already...?? We have had a limited number of 300th
Hash "T" shirts printed which will be on sale at the next Hash.
I am setting the next Hash with Alan "Knit" on a private Hunting Estate, we have the use of the Lodge so toilet facilities etc. are available...
This is REAL HASH COUNTRY...!!
Please let us know if you are coming to the New Years Eve Party...!!
This evening is limited to the first "40" persons only, on a first come first served basis...!! Priority given to Hashers... (There are already "17" Non Hashers wanting to come). RS 1,000.00 per person. For the benefit of the new Hashers and those who didn't get their Trash, I will include details at the end of this Trash...
RAMBLING ON ON
HOT...?? SHORT...?? FLAT...?? DRY...?? definitely not how I would describe the last Hash...!! A well set Run by the Hares Tony "Barnacle Bill" and "Penny Farthing" all be it a little confusing...?? with a nice new touch... the introduction of a ladies check point...!! And a great setting for the Hash Circle...!! Thanks and well done the Hares...!! And in great Hash style Plenty of BEEEER...!! and GREAT FOOOOOOD...!! My thanks to the Cooks and all the other helpers, without whom, the Hash would not function...!!
RAMBLING TO AN END
See you at the next one.
THE MILLENNIUM NEW YEARS EVE PARTY IS ON...!! THE COUNTDOWN HAS STARTED...!!
EVERYONE WELCOME...HASHERS & GUESTS
We have premises... the cost will be approx. RS 1,000.00 per person... and will include: MUSIC & DANCING TILL DAWN...!! A Five course Dinner, Champagne, Red wine, White wine, Beer, Soft drinks. Bring your own "Spirits" and "Fire works" .
Smoked Marlin platter
Prawns & Palm heart
Spit Roast Lamb
Rice & Apricot Pilaf
Fruit Salad & Cream
If you want to stay the night to avoid having to drive, take a tent and breakfast. Confirmed Bookings ASAP please...
PRIZES..!! PRIZES...!! PRIZES...!! PRIZES...!!
IF YOU WISH TO ATTEND PLEASE CONTACT... WENDY, CUPID OR BLOB... ASAP...!!
A veritable army of First Timers descended on us this week from the Four Corners of the Earth and from Floreal as well. Welcome -
Snow White from the UK; The German Ice Bear; George Kizny; Dancing Queen; Yumiko Nishimura; Joe Rogers; Paul, Linda, Walter & Mary Schuller; Peter & Nam Sook; Mark Charoux; and, Masahiko Saito. Good job we don't give Down Downs to First Timers or there wouldn't be any beer left!
No Second Timers for the second Hash running so Alan Renton's brother 'Carrot' was appropriately given a Down Down for being Scottish.
Hurray! Jimmy has returned and sent this little prayer to help us at this difficult time with Scotland facing New Zealand at Murrayfield (great game guys - you were unlucky) and England at Wembley.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass I have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work .…12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. And help me to remember, when I am having a really bad day and people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.
Car on a bit of wood Award went to Dagmar for having the dirtiest 4WD on the Island.
Happy Hashers Award
The tinkly musical thingie went to Wanker the Banker and Snow White just to get her own back for getting the Smelly Blue. Richard wanted to know how to turn it on - if you don't know by now mate.
Jay still has to return this but is forgiven for one more time as the inability of Air Mauritius to fly planes on time delayed his relations arrival and screwed up their weekends!
Went to Penny Farthing for looking stunning but not running (get well soon!).
Smelly Blue T-Shirt
'Wanker the Banker' passed this on to Geeta for asking 'where's the food' only 15 minutes into the Hash. To disappoint everyone she did not strip to don the Smelly Blue nor did she drink the Down Down, just made a shampoo of it!
Supremous Blobus passed the bolted bunny to Chris 'The Bolt' for no apparent reason.
Special Down Downs
'Pisspot' for leaving Mauritius for a few months until January next year.
'Barnacle Bill' for setting such a lousy Hash (according to Blob although Stand-in Edit Hare personally enjoyed being hot and sweaty, getting lost and getting blisters on his feet … well he is Scottish).
Thank you for all that great food !!!!!
1. Kids are free at the Hash, but we have not defined what we mean by kids. MishManagement have decided that you are a kid until you are twelve. Thereafter, you are classed as a Rs50 a head bone fide person. This relates to physical age, not mental as then, half the pack would be claiming a free Hash.
2. It has been brought to our attention that people who miss three consecutive Hashes are no longer entitled to receive the Trash. We have noted Edit Hare has missed three consecutive Hashes and she is thereby requested to not send herself a copy of the Trash until she returns! (Mean and nasty bastards! Edit Hare).
Next Hash - Halloween Style
We have made it to #300, 07 October, 1000 hrs - please come dressed in your best Halloween scary costume!
Hares : Supremous Blobus & Knit Renton
Directions: It is a Private Hunting area... The Lodge, is the one where the New Years Eve Bash will be held... Sorry... No Dogs.
From Curepipe, going South on the Motorway towards the Airport... Turn LEFT just before the flyover bridge to Midlands... Follow the road to "DuBrevil"... Turn LEFT to "Chartreuse"... go over small bridge... Turn LEFT just before second small bridge... You are there.
From the South, Turn RIGHT just after the flyover bridge... etc
Hash #301, 28 Nov - ?????
Hash #300, 07 November - Jackie Russell & Mirielle Brehain
Reunion Island Hash 19 - 21 November still has places available. Contact Keith Lane NOW!
Super New Year Hash Bash - 31 December
Poem by an Old Timer
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean,
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend,
And gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things,
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment.
A program was a TV show.
A cursor used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age.
A CD was a bank account.
And if you had a 3 " floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire.
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue.
A web was a spider's home,
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pen and paper,
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
Actual epitaphs from grave stones ...
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombtone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Supreme Beings: Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (2835534)
Trailmaster: Lord Russell
Cellarmaster: Julie & John
Hash Horn: Yves "BoogieWoogie" Robert
Fashion Advisor: Sylvia
Religious Advisor/Sex Councillor: Leslie Nimno
Barbecue Bearer: David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Ice Maiden: Dagmar Neubacher
Ha$h Ca$h: David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Drinks for Wimps and Kids: Julie & John
Bangers and Hash: Reverse Alphabet
Hash Market: Bob Tumblety
Web Meister: Alan Oliphant
Edit-Hare: Wendy Austin (6257399)