HASH TRASH Vol 11, #306, 27 February 2000
First Timers
A big welcome to visiting Hashers, Bruce (Toby Tortoise) Woolman and Elin (Bugs Bunny) Schilling based in Armenia and members of the Yerevan Hash whose motto is 'We Fear no Bear'.  Lots of other first timers - Bryan (Sexy Shorts) Russell; another Hyundai recruit, D Y Kim; Klaus Scherf from Corona Clothing; Heinz & Monika Maak from Germany and Jurgen & Elisabeth Porksen also from Germany.  Hope to see most of you at the next one!
Second Timers
Great to see so many came back!  Petal got a Pisspot Down Down, mostly down her back.  Fish and Chips from the Casino go their's as well with Chips taking hers over the head as per usual.   Four Hyundai recruits were back for more (will we vote on Stand-in Edit Hare's preferred Hash name for them - Audi Quattro?).
Down Downs
Sad farewell to lots of great Hashers  Adi (Cookhouse) -  many thanks for all the cooking that you have done for us in the past. 
The Corona Ice Maidens, Alexandra and Dagmar and Detlev - how can you leave us?  Whenever we needed volunteers for setting a Hash, cooking the food or bringing the ice, these three were there!  Thank you all very much, you will be sadly missed!
Smelly Blue and Children's Awards - missing
Religious Advisor/Sex Councillor
Jimmy the famous, certainly gets around.  He was setting up a chip shop in Paris and chatting up the Pope today.
Hash Business
Our thanks to Jennifer and helpers for the great food.
Next Hash
#307, 12 March, 1000 hrs
Hares:  The Supreme Beings
Directions:  Anyone who has trouble with these directions, please moan at Brigitte 'Party Animal' Murray, who did them whilst she was half asleep and who doesn't think straight at the best of times. 
Hash will be in the Bay next to the Paradise Cove Hotel where we have Hashed before.  Follow the highway from Port Louis.  Go into Grand Bay!  When you get to the T-Junction at Grand Bay Store (stop lights) turn right, so you have the sea on your left and the shops on your right.  Drive all the way through Pereybere, Cap Malheureux, until you get to Paradise Cove Hotel, which will be the last Hotel as you exit Cap Malheureux.  It is on the left, on the coast (where the water is).  Bay will be in front of you!  Look for Hash signs!  What more can we say?  On. On.
Hare Line
#308, 26 March - Leslie and Anand
#309, 09 April - Volunteers please
Food Line
12 March - Peter and Karin Bukowski
26 March - Marie Claude and Alexandra
09 April - Volunteers
Hash Classifieds
Karin and Peter Bukowski have some things for sale - please phone them on 2634380.
1 baby travel bed (collapsible) with extra (light) duvet RS 1.800
1 floor lamp (iron stand) RS 3.500
1 table lamb (clay encarved stand) RS 2.500
4 comfortable garden chairs, back adjustable, (with cushions) +  fitting table,  white, own-import,
RS 2.200
1 Indonesian wood (wall bas relief) carving, rice godess, partly gold plated, 2m high, RS 2.800
2 single kayaks, good condition RS 4.000
1 HIFI amplifier PIONEER, col. black, hardly used, 415W
2 HECO loudspeaker, 3-way, 110w/140w, black, wood, made in Germany, RS 2.400
approx. 100 pieces coffee-/tea-/dinner set, strawberry design, made in Germany RS 5.000
2 wooden benches, solid wood, unpainted , RS 800 (used in front of writing desk)
1 TV-stand, RS 600
various plants,  well groomed, mostly in chin pots, (entrance) RS 2.400 o.n.o.
various plants, well groomed, mostly in chin. pots, (terrace) RS 2.100 o.n.o.
Good home needed for loveable guard dog called Max - would suit a family with older children.  This is one low maintenance 6 year old, medium size pooch who will guard you and your's.   Please phone Cindy or Dennis Gibson, 6970521.
(Corny) Hash Humour

My uncle was in the fertilized egg business when I was young.  He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs.  My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced.  Now this took an awful lot of
time.  So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them.

He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the
bells and marking down each encounter.

My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was and his bell did not ring all morning. Uncle went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had
his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. They not only awarded him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet Surprise.

Supreme Beings
Bob Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (7210576)
Trailmaster: Lord Russell
Cellarmaster: Julie & John
Hash Horn: Yves "BoogieWoogie" Robert
Religious Adv/Sex Councillor: Leslie Nimno
Barbecue Bearer: David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Ice Maiden: Dagmar Neubacher
Ha$h Ca$h: David ‘Shortie’ Colbert
Drinks for Wimps and Kids: Julie & John
Web Meister: Alan Oliphant
Website: http://www.mhash.com
Edit-Hare: Wendy Austin (6257399)