HASH TRASH Vol 12, #314, 18 June 2000 - Camping Hash

First Timers
Emmanuelle came with Linda and camped also.  However she needs to learn some of the Hash rules, she got a Down Down for
wearing new trainers, AND, for sloping of in the morning on the pretext of getting the papers only to go to the Royal Palm no less for a shower, coffee and hot croissant!!!!!

Second Timers
No Second Timers so under Hash rules Supreme Cupid decided Supremous Blobus should take the Down Down (only because Blobus was so hungover that he didn't think of it first!).

Smelly Blue
Anand - Where are you? Did you survive the smell?  Tusia donated a new Smelly Blue (it is blue this time) and being nice Supreme Beings they decided to give it to a lady first - Miss Dhaka - Rickwalla - and she wore it next to the skin, much to the guys amusement!

RA / Sex Advisor
Unfortunately!?! Jimmy was on holiday so our RA gave us a sermon on friendship and a wee story about Crocodiles.  He also gave a blessing to the newlyweds Chris and Jhotee, which of course came in the form of Down Down's (one with water!).

Games Master
Just for Edit Hare and she wasn't there!,  Alan brought out the Beer & Pole game all twelve volunteers got very wet in this lovely location for such a game.

Special Down Down
Big thank you to Peter - Long Zip - for yet more new boxes.  

Hash Market
New stock of logoed Polo Shirts are available at Rs200 and Ladies Polo's will be available as from the next Hash (Rs150 each).  If you don't find your preferred colour in stock,  please ask Alan or Anne for it and it will be available for you at the following Hash.

Stocks are available of the Hash T-shirt (Y2K edition) at Rs150 each, Hash Hat's also available at Rs150 each, and coming soon more Bottle Carriers.

Next Hash
#315, 02 July -  Hares: Alan Oliphant and Hans Van Lit
Hash will be run from Edit Hare's house in Pomponette.  For just about everyone other than those living at Black River/Tamarin, find your way to Souillac and follow the coast road around to Surinam where you take the first turn left after crossing the bridge, this is the coast road.  Follow it to Riambel, notice the Green Palm Restaurant on your right, clock 2.7kms past this, you will go past forest on your left and then notice a double storey white house with blue roof, take the track immediately before this house, heading towards the beach.  NB:  If you come to a small hotel, Villas Pointe aux Roches, you have gone too far.  For those coming from Black River/Tamarin, enjoy the scenic south coast road until you reach the small hotel, Villas Pointe aux Roches, continue on until you see the double storey which house with blue roof on your right and turn down the track immediately after it.

Hash site is at the last house on the beach at the end of this track.  Cars can park around the corner along the forest.  Limited parking on the driveway (NOT on the grass) for those carrying beer and food.  On. On.
Hare Line
#316, 16 July - Chris Bourke and Leslie Nimmo
#317, 30 July - Jacques Domaingue

Food Line
#315 - Jan and Adrian Rhodes
#316 -  Volunteer needed - if not will revert to Alphabet
#317 - Rosemarie Domaingue and Geeta Gopal

Pie Orders to Brigitte Murray in time for delivery at the next Hash - email kmurray@intnet.mu

Hash Humour
The long awaited "1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards - Criminal Category" have been released! These awards are given each year to bestow upon that individual, who through isolation by incarceration, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

RUNNER-UP # 8 Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused, saying "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this p0int the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.  The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave them the name and address that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
RUNNER-UP # 7 A woman reported her car stolen, and mentioned that there was car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
RUNNER-UP #6 San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your munny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
RUNNER-UP #5 From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the
police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. In response, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture of handcuffs. The motorist then promptly sent the money for the fine.
RUNNER-UP #4 Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
RUNNER-UP #3 Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial in district court for the armed robbery of grocery store when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manageress testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
RUNNER-UP #2 Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.  
RUNNER-UP #1 Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
THE WINNER A Charlotte, NC, man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire (among other things.) Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without even having made his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued and won. In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and using his testimony
against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

Supreme Beings
Blob Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (7210576)
Trailmaster:  Lord Russell
Cellarmaster:  John & Julie
Hash Horn:  Tony 'Barnacle Bill' Ward
Religious Adv/Sex Councilor:  Leslie Nimmo
Barbecue Bearer:  Dave 'Shorty' Colbert
Ice Maiden:  Peter Attig
Ha$h Ca$h:  Dave 'Shorty' Colbert
Hash Market:  Anne & Alan
Drinks for Wimps 'n Kids:  Lord & Lady Russell
Gamesmaster:  Alan 'Knit' Renton
Web Meister:  Alan Oliphant
Website:  http://www.mhash.com
Edit Hare:  Wendy Austin (6257399)  auswin@intnet.mu