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Run at Albion (aka The Anthrax Hash). Hares
Charlie & Charlotte
Present were 49 Hashers, Harriettes and
ankle biters. Distance 3.2 Kms Run departing from Avenue Astrolabe, Albion -
site of a pongy stream – (or was this just the delicate aroma of many hash trainers
?) In any case, a large tanker truck was seen filling up with this 'water').
When laying the trail the hares were waylaid
by the local police and asked to explain why they were throwing white powder
around the countryside – a brave move of course in the present political climate
but there are no wimps on the hash. Once it was established that the hares were
not yet using anthrax to lay trails, the two were released for bad behaviour
and will live to hash another day. Full marks for two courageous hashers !
'Barnacle Bill' attempted to get the assembled
hashers to warm up their vocal chords with a little choir practice but was met
by the customary hash lack of respect.
Geeta (Hash Cash) was ordered to run with
a birthday balloon attached to her derriere (very fetching) and then the hare
explained the hash markings which were being used (including new chalk direction
arrows in use following police advice mentioned above!). Once the hashers confessed
themselves to be thoroughly confused by the differences between local markings
and those used by Vikings and others, the pack set off on what proved to be
a very hot trail through the undergrowth (although any distance from the pongy
stream was a relief). The stream crossing point was expressly marked "DO NOT
WASH CARS HERE" which was, of course, exactly what some car owners (not Hashers)
were doing.
Some confusion was experienced in mid-hash
due to FRB's (Front Running Bastards) declining to call "On on" and the strolling
ladies not feeling overly inclined to check when required. This caused a degree
of accidental 'long cutting' by those who thought they were on trail and the
strolling ladies were amazed to find themselves unexpectedly FRB's for a while
(they quickly recovered however). High points were awarded for the scenic part
of the trail along the beach and past some impressive beach front villas. The
RA was unfortunately unable to organise any topless sunbathers on the beach
this time but better luck next time.
Negative points were awarded for the litter
and pollution which seemed to be on every piece of non residential land. Don't
they have Poubelle men in Albion? With a little delay it was decided that all
hashers had eventually returned to the fold and, despite the confusion over
some of the trail, the two hares were treated leniently due to their traumatic
run in with the long arm of the law.
Many thanks to 'Long Zip' and Namsuk for
delicious noodles and to young Danish Pastry (Selina) for chocolate cake for
Geeta "Tinkerbel" on her birthday.
First Timers (aka Hash 'Virgins'):
Down downs were awarded by Blob, the GM
(outgoing) to the following newcomers:-
Selina 'Baby Maard' (daughter of Hotdog
and Danish Pastry – commisserations were expressed for her being daughter of
new RA)
Des Colbert (father of 'Shorty' Colbert)
– admiring comments due to expertise and aplomb when drinking down down – has
he been trained by Shorty ? Des wisely withheld his phone number (must have
hashed before ? )
Cathryn and Anne – both invited to hash
by Kevin Quick and both were apparently brave enough to return one day. E-mail
address supplied
Pierrot Philio – much expertise shown for
newcomer to down downs
Maureen Philio (wife of Pierrot) – gave
her phone number as '999' – (could be useful for a naming ceremony)
Andrew and Pierrot jnr Philio – enthusiastic
new hashers (children of above)
Chris Brown – invited by Lord and Lady Russel
(escaping to UK shortly but game enough to buy the covetted Dodo Hash T-shirt)
'Strong-on' – simply because he declared
himself desperate for a beer – anything to oblige. The poor bloke was only standing
on the periphery of the sacred Hash Circle!!
Second Timers:
Our tame Mauritian policeman who denies
all knowledge of police bust mentioned above ! (NB. A possible hash name of
'Dodocop' has been suggested for future consideration) Well done for being keen
enough to return after near drowning on first hash (a very wet Grand Bassin)
Changing of the Guard:
The new RA on behalf of the entire hash
then expressed many heartfelt thanks to the GM ('Blob' Latimer) and JM (Kevin
'Cupid' Murray) for all the hard work they had done for the hash in the past
and announced that they were handing over the position of GM to Tony 'Barnacle
Bill' Ward for the foreseeable future. The pack echoed these sentiments by applause
and a standing ovation. Their appreciation was amply demonstrated later in the
traditional manner. (NB. Blob and Cupid had put in a great deal of time and
effort in keeping the MH3 going and it would be appreciated if more hashers
were prepared to step forward and volunteer their help/time in future)
RA 'Hotdog' then demonstrated his ruthlessness
by immediately ordering the outgoing GM on to the block of ice. Blob has since
commented that it is a poor tactical ploy to slide backwards off the ice block.
This merely results in one's tackle being frozen instead of one's bum.
RA's down downs:
Before the official handover ceremony the
RA awarded down downs to the two hares (hashers gave the run the official 'thumbs
up'). The two baby hares were allowed water down downs in an effort not to corrupt
minors. Charlie drank a second down down for littering on the hash (his bag
of anthrax had been spotted discarded on the trail).
Jackie was given a down, down for obstructing
RA's passage while back-checking.
Gilbert drank for biking on the trail (and
for lying to Mismanagement by attempting to claim a flat tyre)
There was a distinct espionage/infiltration theme to the next three sinners:-
'Strong-on' drank a second time for confessing
to flat feet which of course logically means that he must have been a policeman
in his murky past.
Our tame policeman drank just for being
a policeman which of course proved he was spying on MH3 on behalf of the island's
finest.
His sonWesley carried a toy gun on the hash
and so endangered the pack by risking arrest and on the spot fines.
Did they think they would get away with it with out ever alert RA and new GM?
Geeta 'Tinkerbel' drank for daring to have
her birthday on a hash day.
Handover Ceremony:
By this time Blob had been abused by Barnacle
Bill who tipped ice water over him (at least it wasn't beer) and was rightly
ordered to replace Blob on the ice (Barnacle demonstrated what a hotbot
he was by disintegrating the block of ice immediately, could it have been
the previous night's chilli con carne?).
With tears in his eyes (of relief??) Blob
reverently handed over the coveted Viking horned helmet to Barnacle. Blob then
touchingly received the Hash Horn from Barnacle whose lips had gradually hardened
over the past weeks to the point where he could have played Last Post whilst
fully submerged in the near-by river.
Once he and 'Barnacle Bill' had officially
given each other the horn (so to speak) they and 'Cupid' were awarded down downs
from the lovely pisspots (two urine sample jars and the ceremonial two handed
MH3 quaich) by the new RA.
The greedy trio were then forced to drink
again for 'Take 2' for Lord Russell's hashflash.
'Hotdog' then invited the pack to participate
in the "christening ceremony", most of which appeared to be Sprite or something
that rhymes with Sprite. Even a hash ankle-biter escaped his parents to join
in enthusiastically (although it has to be said that some hashers were seen
to be sobbing quietly when they noted the amount of beer being spilt and not
drunk)
RA's shoes award:
The RA awarded his gorgeous coloured rubber
shoes (apparently the latest fashion in Denmark) to be worn on the next hash
by the "man with no name" who foolishly admitted to actually washing his hash
trainers each week and that they were actually squash shoes.
Smelly toilet seat award (always an honour):
'Shorty'Colbert awarded this to 'Hotdog'
for a second time after noticing that he had omitted to write his name on the
Hash Shit after wearing it (as is the custom). This was then rectified in Permocolour
but RA will have to delegate its carriage on the next run.
Inaugural Speech by new GM (start of Reign of Terror):
With absolutely no disrespect to Blobous
Supremous Maximus, the new broom 'Barnacle Bill' announced that –
At this point the new reign of terror was illustrated when Barnacle made an example of Australian Kevin for being spotted front running and attempting to quietly and silently indicate the correct trail without calling 'On On' and also for pointing on the hash. Such flagrant disregard for Hash etiquette has rarely been seen. The pack practised calling ON ON in unison and Kevin demonstrated the decant method of taking a double down down.
Hash Announcements:
RECEDING HARELINE
Run 349, 4th November: Will be set by Geeta and Lady Russell (with advice from
his Lordship).
Run 350, 17th & 18th November: Camping Hash weekend at Ile-aux-Coco near
Le Morne
Run 351, 2nd December: Gilbert & Etienne.
Also waiting to set Hashes are: Sylvia, Allan 'Strong-on'
FOOD: 4th November, Perry & Tusa Joseph
Words to global 'Hash Hymn' :
Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home
I looked over Jordan and what did I see? Coming for to carry me home
A band of hashers coming after me; Coming for to carry me home
*(repeat above until people start leaving)
Directions to next Hash to be held at 10am on 4th November 2001.
From the North: Take 'motorway' from Pamplemousses towards Port Louis.
At the roundabout marked left Calbasses, right Arsenal, turn right (that is
towards Arsenal for those with hangovers). (This is the next roundabout after
the SSR hospital turn off)
Follow this road for 900meters and then look for a sign on the right "Rural
Development Program, Arsenal Litchi Project, Financed by Pilon", enter.
Fron the South: Take the 'motorway' North from Port Louis. At the roundabout
marked left Arsenal, right Calbasses, turn left. (This is the next roundabout
after the one with the Phallic statue in the middle). Follow the road as above.
HASH
MISH-MANAGEMENT
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Supreme
Being:
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Tony "Barnacle Bill" Ward - TonyWard@intnet.mu |
Trailmasters:
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Clarence Babet, Charlie & Allan "Strong-on" |
Cellarmaster:
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Tony "Barnacle Bill" Ward |
Hash
Horn:
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"Blob" Latimer |
Religious
Adv/Sex Councillor:
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Eric "Hotdog" Maard |
Barbecue
Bearer:
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Dave "Shorty" Colbert |
Ice
Maiden:
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Peter "Long Zip" Attig |
Ha$h
Ca$h:
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Tom & Geeta "Tinkerbel" |
Drinks
for Wimps 'n Kids:
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Lord & Lady Russell |
Hash
Haberdashery:
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Dave "Shorty" Colbert, fittings by Juliette "Snow White" |
Gamesmaster:
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vacant (Geeta at times) |
Edit
Hare and Webmaster:
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Bob Russell assisted by any willing soule who can write |
Website:
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http://www.mhash.com |