Mauritius Hash House
Hash 421 5th September 2004
The H@$H with more new signs.
Emily from Quatre Bornes, already in a hash t-shirt
Florise, French, on holiday and a jolly good egg.
Daisy & Hard On - both from Swaziland
You can't teach an old dog new tricks and the Mauritius hash is a proper old hound: a dopey old spaniel, with a bit of a dodgy paw called Moris - the dog, not the paw- that limps around sniffing speculatively at lamp-posts and panting after the younger dogs desperate to catch them but not sure why anymore....What chance then for Jack who tried to introduce a completely new system of signing? We liked it Jack, we really did, 'cos it stopped the lazy gits from hanging back at check-points and made the supposedly fit FRB’s suffer by running pointless false trails. But, and pay attention, we have a local custom here as well Jack - we show people where to go by putting down splodges of this amazing eco-friendly, non-toxic, homogenised filtered powdered wheat product – more commonly known as “flour” – and by a sequence of these we create what is more often termed a “trail”.
OK – too cruel. The truth is that we had the traditional Mauritian downpour that morning which cleaned much of the trail away, and we couldn’t be stuffed to look hard enough for where it had been, so we just made our own trail and went home along the beach. Unfortunately, since we had a clear idea of where we were going, there were no new recruits to the F’kawe tribe. But while we’re on the subject, anyone heard anything of my old friend Annelise?
The food this time was provided by Claudia and Marie Claude. I learned that most of the rest of the world’s hashes don’t provide food. If this is true, then it’s no surprise that they’re coming from Swaziland, and the rest of you guys should get your buns over this way ‘cos the food this week was of the very highest order. Even the rice was fragrant. Superb.
Strong On reminded us that this was the anniversary of the “Helicopter Hash” (Damn – good name! Wish I’d thought of it). In keeping with the anniversary theme, therefore, Alan called upon Philida to anoint with the liquid of her choice any of the rest of the sinners.
He also had brought back from Swaziland Daisy and Hard-On who were last present at the Helicopter Hash. So we had the battle royale – Strong On against Hard On. Apparently Hard On had been heard complaining at the hash that it was too long, although Daisy remained curiously silent.
Tomek was given a down-down for slipping slyly away from the hash for a quick bit of “relief”.
Perry - not sure why
Jack Bower who had no flour
Jimmy went to France
I couldn't hear a word Leslie was saying 'cos the wind was overpowering - and I'd ask him please next time not to eat so many lentils before coming to the hash. (boom boom)
From what I can piece together Jimmy fell foul of the local gendarmerie for not being able to urinate into a bag while walking on a white line. Blimey – Europe’s gone weird since I left.
Still missing. We invited the FBI team to investigate. They said that it was a gas leak. We pointed out that it was a small stuffed dodo given to children (and others) from time to time at the hash. Unmoved, the FBI insisted it was a gas leak.
Given to Jack. Well, obviously!
Dodocop nr Curepipe