Mauritius Hash House
Hash 423 3rd October 2004
The Hash with more breasts than the average hash.
Inspector Gadget and Mireille
Sebastien Chong, from Curepipe who might come back – and my grandmother plays in goal for Manchester United.
Jonnny & Bente, from Copenhagen, who claimed to be friends of Hot Dog – and my grandmother plays scrum-half for England
Nicki Grihault, Strong On’s daughter, who intends to write an article about me and therefore is the second most wonderful person in the world (after my grandmother)
This was NOT the last hash that Mr & Mrs Gadget would be attending, but the last, possibly, that they will be setting, unless the unexpected happens, in which case it won’t be the last, probably. The key thing is that we’ve got that all cleared up and sorted out.
The signs, literally, seemed ominous. The hares had set a trail with an exponential number of diversions and digressions, we were told (tho’ not in those words obviously). It looked as though we might all end up running our own individual trails, seemingly alone, yet in the company of like-minded and sympathetic travelers close by but out of sight. Um, Trois Mammelles means 3 tits: just thought I’d mention that now, before you think I’ve gone all philosophical.
It was a normal Etienne sod of a trail – cutting across rivers and streams, back-checks, long runs and hard going. Superb! The hares were spared all censure in the On In on the grounds of their magnificent performance both in setting the hash and in providing the food – really first class.
Hot Dog stepped down as RA: the greatest service to Man since the invention of the G-String. Decoy is now fully-fledged:
In the usual idiocy of innocence over experience Decoy tried to organise the entire Hash into groups of 8 to practise a drinking boat-race; and in the customary incredible victory of Idiocy over common-sense, he managed it. Now we know how our politicians manage to stay in power.
Sinners were lined up:
Hot-Dog, for being the chief sneak
Captain Nimmo for the design of his T-shirt
Nicki Grihault for ignoring a box
Shorty for encouraging her to do so
Scrungebucket senior for arriving late
Amelie for interrupting the RA without being funny enough.
Strong On, for preventing the RA from being able to ogle the best buttocks at the hash that day. The question of whose were the best buttocks that day was a matter of public scrutiny and I’m delighted to report that they weren’t Hot Dog’s! To know more…you had to be there.
Scrungebucket (senior) received the high distinction of a down-down with extreme prejudice, felt the icy chill around his lower parts, and declared it to be “quite refreshing”.
Given this time to Tomek for spilling blood on the Hash. He’s a sly one this lad: he falls over, grazes his knee, and suddenly 4 women are falling over themselves to adminster first aid. Other Hashers cottoned on to this quickly and were suddenly all complaining of groin strain.
A christening took place and ”Madame Papaye” came forth into our midst.
The Hustler was seen to be handing out official documents to our Polish connections. (Hush hush, hustle hustle).
The Isle of Wight hashers are due to arrive soon: we collectively braced ourselves for impact. Special events have been organized by quite a number of the Mauritius Hash, and, since I am writing this up late (naturally), I can tell you that they have all been terrific fun.
Snow White & Shorty