Mauritius Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash 666 - Sunday 16 February 2014


Walking Dodo

VENUE: Blue Bay

HARES: Rey 'Hot pants'

A Linear Affair

Driven by shame, motivated by humiliation and spurred on by ridicule your brindjal-munching, soya-chewing, house trained (well at least partially) and markedly disingenuous SubScribe has finally found the time to wax the lyrical narrative on the cursed 666 Hash.

Although the elfin miscreant appealed to the circle (at Hash 667) with a frankly gossamer thin reason (the pressure of being a captain of industry, a mover and a shaker with deals to be finalized & projects to be managed etcetc) for failing to deliver the Hash news before the print runs deadline date, he did not escape the deserved punishment from the GM, who visibly refused to be charmed by such an implausible alibi.

The SubScribe was perhaps fortunate to have escaped a double dose of down downs for believing that the travails of idle fools took precedence over the travesties of the Hash. If he were court martialed the SubScribe would surely have been given a lifelong ban from attending the Hash, much like an Olympian would be stripped of their medal for illegal use of performance enhancing candy bars.

It didn't help matters when our resident veterinary surgeon/sturgeon & current bearer of the Scribular poisoned pen, Isis Joseph, verbally executed/emasculated the withering SubScribe for this heretic act of dishonor with vengeful eyes that looked like she was primed to remove his fingernails with a pair of wire cutters.

Hoping that the depleting brain cells (plural, surely not) allow safe passage of memory recall, the trailblaggard was the mighty leonine figure of Rey Joseph who orchestrated a unique Hash by introducing separate starting points for runners and walkers, made more surreal by the fact the semi-somnolent ensemble had to take the 10.20 special public snailbus out of Blue Bay to get to their respective starting blocks.

What the locals though of an invasion of overdressed bloated humanized sperm whales adorned in Valentines insignia is anyone's guess but it cannot be overlooked that it could be one of these stories that they tell their children/grandchildren.

The trail was slightly deceptive in parts, in particular a wild goose chase at the beginning when the FRB's were guided to a point where they were stranded and where there was no other choice but to retrace their steps to the start….but, in the main, it presented an ever interesting challenge to uncover the blobs of flour without being completely stranded in No Man's Land. Keen vision and second guessing were the order of the day.

Both trails met back at the On-On in Blue Bay and Rey was suitable rewarded for his imagination as the circle applauded his efforts.

The Virgo Intacta came in the shape of the following roll call of debutantes -

The GM was spared his forfeit as a tall, nameless and menacing couple confessed to being second timers.

The normally conjoined Siamese Religious/Sexual advisors were unhooked at the hip this week as Kees took to the front and centre as a mere bi-ped and looking as unsteady as newly born lamb.

The Bangelstien award was given to Alain who claimed his innocence for being the last to pay, clearly not being a 21st Century man to be able to take responsibility for his own action/inaction.

The Last Chance Saloon for Sinners was opened for the customary slew of Down Downs which went to -