Mauritius Hash Trash 318

13-08-2000 Goodlands Forest Kevin #318

HASH TRASH Vol  12 #318, 13 August 2000

First Timers
Nick Farmer who was either a British Virgin or came from the British Virgin Islands, who is now an off shore accountant in (or just off) Mauritius.  Simon Banks, actually, sorry, that should say an actuary!  from Bayswater.  Paul Crabtree who’s just visiting from London.  Maurice and Lorraine, poor loves, out here on honeymoon, soaked to the skin, covered in mud, oh what a way to spend your hols!  I bet they never mentioned this in the brochures….  Michal Skwarczynski from Poland via Cairo, here on holiday with the van Lits.

Second Timers
“Sheep shagger”  friend of the Stud, who spilt most of his Down Down down his, erm, fleece.  Nikki Server (Botty Spanker) and her son Jan (Spanked Botty).

OOPS!  Fiona got caught and dragged into the circle for her Down Down and christened “Just do it” because she didn’t.

Smelly Blue T’Shirt
Went from Solange to Rosemarie, for artistic purposes only, as she expressed a longing to embroider it (no doubt while it was still somewhat fragrant).

Hares
Andreas, Kevin and John –  thank you very much boys for a typical flat, short, dry Hash.

Order of the Funnel was awarded to our very own Alan Oliphant, keeper of the screens, AKA Bruno Man for his outstanding performance these past three years (ie not falling down directly after every Hash), although we haven’t yet asked Muriel’s opinion (on his performance, silly).  In a ceremony reminiscent of Oscar night, Alan tearfully accepted the flattened Phoenix bottle with dignity and panache.  

Special Down Downs
Nick Farmer for wearing lovely new shoes, albeit coated in mud and muck, together with very holey socks.
Alan and Anne for reproducing the beautiful Rebecca (altogether now:  AAAHHHHH!!)
Simon Banks who’d just got engaged (then his mobile rang – she must have heard about it already!)

Games Master  seemed to involve men rubbing up against each other and golf balls.  Hmm, there’s a message in there somewhere….. anyway, I didn’t partake, I know what happened when Anne had fun and games with Alan…..

Hash Food  was courtesy of Julie and Bridget and fabulous it was, with queues stretching right out into the rain……

Next Hash
#319, 27 August, 1000 hrs – Hares,  Linda & Paul Schuller
Directions:
From Port Louis:  Take the M2 direction Grand Baie. Turn right at the next roundabout after the Anjalay Stadium and go direction Poudre d’Or, Hamlet. In the mid of roundabout there is a big sign “Ecole Du Nord”.  Pass Ecole du Nord. After 2.5 km turn right at T-junction and follow the B42 to Poudre d’Or, Hamlet. After 100 meter turn left at sign Cottage and go direction Goodlands. After 4 km turn right at T-junction. Pass St. Antoine sugar estate and turn left after 1 km at a road lined with bougainvillea. Here’s the first Hash sign. After 2 km turn left at T-junction, first right, first left and first right. Turn left at T-junction and continue for 400 meters till the end of the road.

From Grand Baie:  Take the M2 direction Port Louis. Turn left at the next roundabout after The Vale, and go direction Forbach. Follow the sign Cottage. After 2 km turn left at sign Cottage and go direction Goodlands. After 4 km turn right at T-junction. Pass St. Antoine sugar estate and turn left after 1 km at a road lined with bougainvillea. Here is the first Hash sign. After 2 km turn left at T-junction, first right, first left and first right. Turn left at T-junction and continue for 400 meters till the end of the road.

Hare Line
#320, 10 September – volunteers needed
#321, 24 September – ditto

Food Line
#319, 27 August – Anna & Rainer
#320, 10 September – volunteers needed
#321, 24 September – ditto

A cry from the collective heart:  Please volunteer to either set a Hash, do the food or something!  Its no good moaning that we never go here, or its too long, short, dry etc (like me) if you don’t ever set one yourself!!  Don’t be shy – if you’re a virgin I guarantee that an experienced trail setter will take you under his/her wing and lovingly guide you through the event.  You’ll be a better person for it!  Small animals will love you too!  And never forget that a well laid Hash is a Hash well laid.

Extras
Get your pie orders in to Brigitte for delivery at the next Hash – kmurray@intnet.mu
Get your contact details to Edit Hare – only one snail mail Hasher has replied, does this mean no-one else on the snail mail list wants to receive the Trash?
Thank you to our Web Meister Shelley for being Stand-in Edit Hare yet again.

Hash Humour
Safety Awareness………………..

Here’s your weekly safety brief. Be careful what you wear (or don’t wear), when working under your vehicle…especially in public.

>From the Sydney Morning Herald, Australia comes this story of a couple who drove their car to a shopping centre only to have it break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on and do the shopping while he tried to fix the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of  male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned  private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, bent down and tucked everything back into place. On standing up again she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

HASH MISH-MANAGEMENT
Supreme Beings
Blob Latimer (6963815) & Kevin Murray (2547074)
Trailmaster:  Lord Russell
Cellarmaster:  John & Julie
Hash Horn:  Tony ‘Barnacle Bill’ Ward
Religious Adv/Sex Councilor:  Leslie Nimmo
Barbecue Bearer:  Dave ‘Shorty’ Colbert
Ice Maiden:  Peter Attig
Ha$h Ca$h:  Dave ‘Shorty’ Colbert
Drinks for Wimps ‘n Kids:  Lord & Lady Russell
Hash Market:  Anne & Alan Renton
Gamesmaster:  Alan ‘Knit’ Renton
Web Meistress:  Shelley Van Lit
Website:  https://www.mhash.com
Edit Hare:  Wendy Austin (6257399)  auswin@intnet.mu